Free Sinus Cleaning

Just the other day I was vibing at Ocean Beach catching waves and feeling cute. I saw a wave coming at me that wasn’t quite big enough to ride so I figured I’d let it pass me. Maybe it might smack my body a little, but I didn’t do much to dodge the wave’s force. That wave turned out to be much stronger than I expected because ALL of the ocean went straight up my nostrils.

Feel the glory and glamor of surfing.

I love surfing. I love the salt burn. But wow that really was a lot of water up my nostrils. I could’ve done without that. Next time I’ll block the wave with my board. You can use it like a huge shield.

-Love, Joolz

Wall of Text

I wasn’t trying to get sucked into The Discourse, but here I am getting sucked into The Discourse.

A comics artist recently put out a webcomic on their personal Instagram about a Cartoon Rabbit who perceives another Artist getting a lot of attention, but only because this person is implied to be part of a special group. The cartoon rabbit calls the Artist’s work “Cal-Arts adjacent”, “mediocre” and “garbage.” The vibe is very “You only got published here cuz you’re diverse.” Clearly, this person has a problem with stories published by socially marginalized people just because they exist.

But the comic itself is also mediocre. The Projection is just…wow.

There are many cardinal comics sins in this thing: the dreaded wall of text. Wonky paneling. Characters with zero personality. And the whole punchline is “Nah, we don’t really enjoy this person’s work. We just say we do to look good.” Which is not much of a punchline. I mean sure, the publishing industry is performative AF. I’ll co-sign that. But to imply that anyone reads queer or POC comics because they’re trendy or virtue signaling short sells them. Dare to believe a POC could make a comic that’s actually good because it’s a unique emotional experience. One you wouldn’t get from the average, mediocre Becky.

And if you can’t relate to that, I’m sorry you hate surfing.

Queer people and People of Color can get to places the average Becky can’t. That’s why our stories are interesting. I have so many comics about surfing. I’m an insane Island Woman with many insane stories to share. I wouldn’t have ended up a surfer if I wasn’t descended from the Caribbean. My flavor makes me special. My surfer stories are about trying not to step on stingrays. I impart Island Woman humor one angry pancake at a time and nobody else serves surfer girl cartoons like I do.

Anyway this is meant to be a lesson for the rest of you. Sure, you can add your spicy opinion to the discourse, especially to help promote your book with An Actually Big Publisher. Marketing is hard. I get it. But be warned. Other artists are watching you. We’re taking notice of how loud and wrong you are.

And we will absolutely call your wall of text with a toothless punchline mid.

Gifted Adult

This is one of those aspirational strips. I don’t actually get out that often to drink mimosas with friends. Honestly, I don’t even drink much anymore. And the location isn’t real. But gosh, doesn’t this look like a great place to talk about my Giftedness? I would love to talk about my weird brain over mimosas in a La Jolla-ish restaurant.

Being a Gifted Kid can be a burden. Everyone expects us to be workhorses for capitalism the second they find out we’re “smart.” This is what leads to overwork and Gifted Kid Burnout. Classes get harder. Expectations go higher. Most of us Gifted Kids would rather collect yarn samples than train for yet another standardized test. And there are no prizes for growing into adulthood for Gifted Kids. We go from “Oh good you can get a bunch of grades and make us look good” to “Why the hell are you still obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog?” From adorable child prodigy to misunderstood madmen. That’s what it means to be a Gifted Kid gone Adult.

But I overcame the odds. I actually came good on the demands of capitalism. I leveled up in my career. Built my own slapdash animation studio out of my gumption and a roll of scotch tape. That’s worth celebrating! Good job, Me. I’m the Child Prodigy who became a Regular Prodigy.

Have I had difficult depression years? Sure. But that wasn’t Gifted Kid Burnout. That was good old-fashioned situational depression. And I’m good now.

Celebrate an adult’s Giftedness today.

Excalibur

So this all started because I recently learned to surfskate and now that’s my whole personality. And then someone asked me, “Do you name your skateboards?”

OF COURSE I name my boards.

This is the story of how I got my longboard skateboard. I got it as a random trade from a fellow surfer. They upgraded to an electric skateboard and didn’t care for their longboard skateboard as much. So I took it off their hands. My problem as that I didn’t quite know what to do with this board until I lent it out at a skate park to my Animation Partner. Then another guy he met at the skate park told us the secret of the board. As a surfer always looking for new training options, I realized this longboard was like sitting on Excalibur. A treasure meant to find me at the right time even though it was under my nose the entire time.

It’s nice when that happens.

-Love, Joolz

Silver Surfer Origin

Yes, I know there's a new Fantastic Four movie with the Silver Surfer in it. But that's a girl surfer. That Pick-me has got nothing to do with any of this.

Also, I know Grek Pak's Death of the Silver Surfer is about to come out soon. We wish for all the success for that release, but that's also not related.

I always wondered how Galactus struck up a relationship with the Silver Surfer that lead to "hey, can you announce to planets I'm eating them? That would be great. Thanks." Also, I think it's hilarious to make Silver Surfer comics where he sounds like a Cosmic Beach Bum. Everyone else takes him so seriously. And surfers may be intense, but they are also deeply unserious people. I just think we need more funny surfer comics in this world. And Marvel is never going to let me near their beloved beach boy so this is as close as I can get. It's cool. Parody law got my back.

Jesus Joker

Okay, so how did we get here?

The current background noise of America is Christo-fascism. The Religious Right have seized power so doesn't it make sense the worst criminals around would seize upon the opportunity to scam people religiously? If you start your own church, that's a license to print money especially in the US. So yeah, someone like the Joker would eventually figure that out.

But the real seed to this idea started when I discovered Filipino Batman. In the late 80's, around the time Batman '89 came out, the Phillipines released this absolute gem of a movie, Alyas Batman and Robin. The final ending is a musical number, wherein the Joker proclaims he's healed and "let's be afraid of God" as a show of his change of heart. That's honestly the most maniacal turn of phrase The Joker could ever say. The Snyder Cut could never.

Remember, America is now run by the religious right (and given that whole church tax exemption thing, likely always has been). Using religion to wreak havoc on people has devastating consequences. It's only natural we'd see a corrupted preacher like The Joker. I'm just shocked it hasn't happened already.