Love, Joolz - King Kong vs Slenderman Movie

So I made good on my threat to draw the movie concept of King Kong vs. Slenderman. And I tried to make it as suck ass and terrible as Hollywood would make an AI movie. Product Placement. Affiliations with the most horrible people. Horrible messages. Horribly off character stuff. Even threw a Chris Pratt joke in there. The Kid Rock line almost made me vomit. And that's how I know I've made good art: if I can make myself sick with this mess.

I hope you enjoyed this terrible crap.  Take comfort it's only contained with these four squares. For now.

In Hollywood, anything is possible. Nowadays that's a threat.

Dick Starfish

This is a real sea star.

I didn't even know that Sea stars were all head with a mouth underneath. The wild things I learn while researching nature stuff.

I did this comic because I sometimes joke on socials "haha, the Mark Trail they won't let me write" and a photo of...this sea star. And uhhhh yeah it sure is a look.

But we humans must keep in mind that the star fish came before us. So actually our dicks look like starfish.

Something to keep you up at night.

Surfboard Safari

It was everything I could do not to call this comic A Surfboard Surfari. That would’ve been a bridge too far. Or a surfboard too far.

Now, this isn’t all the surfboards ever. Not even close. I could do an entire series on the Surfboard Safari. As I get to know more boards, I will post some info about them.

You people thought I was kidding when I said I could write 5000 words on Surfboards. I was not. If a picture is worth a thousand words, we’re already at 4,000. I could probably make another 3 or 4 comics about surfboard stuff I know. At least.

I am very serious about talking about surfboards. We will be here all day.

King Kong vs Slenderman

I have a horrible feeling I’m gonna have to draw King Kong vs. Slenderman. I have to do it now, don’t I? Oh brother. Don’t worry, I won’t use AI to make it. Love, Joolz comics and cartoons are made with Genuine Stupidity. True human fault and folly went into this pile of loudness for your entertainment and enlightment. Anyway…

There have been industry threats to replace artists entirely with AI to make feature films, but I say try it. It’s not like their current choices have been great. Nobody asked for live action remakes of old movies we’ve already seen. Nobody asked for visual effects on every little frame. Nobody asked for corporate brand movies. Infomercial, but make it movie. No. Nobody up there seems to making smart choices, so I say try making a movie out of AI. Do it. Get an AI generated script Use AI generated characters. Use AI generated designs. Maybe?? Somehow?? Get the thing to do everything on model??? AI generated marketing campaign. AI everything. I say let them do it and see what kind of mid AF drivel comes out of it. Honestly I think it’ll be a little nightmareish. The kind of thing you pass around to your friends in high school when you’re drinking stolen beers after Disney Plus tosses it back into the Vault. Studio Heads seem to think “Computers!” is the answer to everything. Computers will make the money come back. When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail I guess.

TL:DR An AI Generated movie would suck ass.

My Read-Or-Dies, I really had to think hard about King Kong vs. Slenderman as the fake AI movie title for the joke. I wanted their failing title to be something a normal person would look at and go WTF that’s a dumb idea. I tried to think of the stupidest idea ever. But all I could go down to was King Kong vs. Slenderman. It’s really hard to be a person imitating a computer imitating a person.

I wonder if I failed because King Kong vs. Slenderman might be sort of awesome.

Going off Socials

News has come out that social media sites are draining the life of independent artists. Sites that require you to make posts specifically for them will punish you for posting about your patreons or Kickstarters. So you’re always giving to the Zuck or the Muskrat and getting nothing back. It’s kind of a good thing most social media platforms in the US went full fash because now I’m taking way more time to myself. I’m not caring about posting my life on socials. I’m no longer investing my energy into stuff that doesn’t matter. Slacktivism isn’t cute.

I didn’t make three comics this week, so I’m going to post this image I made to communicate to my Substack readers that I’m getting out of town. No more Metaverse for me. And that’s why I look so cute.

Stupid Comics

The most punk rock thing you can do is put out your truth and not give a damn about quality. I guess that’s what I had to remind myself of here.

I’ve been going to Zinefests lately. What I love about zines is that they’re usually someone’s unfiltered truth. A tiny booklet where you share a piece of your soul in a message baked down to a cool 8 pages. This is the kind of stuff that inspires Love, Joolz. Truth, no matter how hard it hurts.

And that matters more than humor. Sure I like to be funny and amusing. But it seems to happen when I don’t try. I tried to make a joke about being basic basic but I didn’t know what to do. What do basic people do these days? I do not know the daily behaviors of normal people. I’m so sorry.